Get over yourself.
I know, I know, it’s not what you’re used to hearing, especially on Instagram. But, psychologically, it’s quite an important (i.e. healthy) place to get to. The point in your life when you realise, ‘I don’t have to be shiny, bright and impressive’. Or, ‘I’m not the first person to have this experience, and I won’t be the last’.
But it’s a hard place to get to because we equate specialness with value. ‘I am only worthwhile if I am especially talented and everyone knows it’.
But this kind of ‘value’, one that is based on specialness, is, frankly, a massive burden. Think about a listed building. In the UK a listed building is one that has been placed on a protected list due to its historical, architectural or cultural significance. They are rare and rarefied. They are usually very beautiful to look at.
But you can’t touch them.
If you buy a listed building you don’t truly ‘own’ it. You are its custodian. The building ‘belongs’ to everyone else. You can’t cut down a hedge or paint a door without seeking permission and putting it to the committee. The building can never change because it is ‘too special’ to ever change. It has admiration without freedom.
Our culture and - social media especially - invite us to see ourselves in this way. To be admired without freedom. You see this, for example, when people feel compelled to apologise for not wearing make-up. You don’t owe anyone a made-up face. Your face doesn’t belong to the committee. You don’t have to seek permission to be seen as you are.
Not being special doesn’t mean you’re not important. But it does free up ‘normal people’ to do important things. So you don’t have to be 'the kind of person who [insert goal]', because…we’re ALL the kind of people who can achieve things. It doesn't take specialness. It's mostly luck and effort.
When you get on board with not being special [as I mean it here] it relieves a lot of pressure. You can do something embarrassing (i.e. be human) without it being the end of the world. You can change your mind without condemning your former self. You can grow without seeking permission to change.
You belong to yourself.